How To Cope With Betrayal?

Relationships play an important role in our lives. It would not be wrong to say that a person can’t live without relations throughout his or her life. An individual needs to bond with other people for emotional and mental well- being. Be it our parents, siblings, cousins or friends, each of them has their own significance in our lives. Relationships fulfill the need of belonging, contentment, positivity, identity formation, support, affection, care, etc. Our friends and family hold us together in times of need and help in us dealing with stressful situations.

Where there are relationships, there is a chance of some sort of betrayal that might occur during the life of that social equation. We are not saying that relationships come with a latent degree of betrayal naturally but that trust and betrayal, in a relationship, go hand in hand. Betrayal means an act of deliberate disloyalty. Any form of deceiving or cheating, playing with someone’s feelings, breach of trust, etc, characterizes betrayal. 


Reasons, why a person betrays, are too numerous to mention. However, undoubtedly the effect of betrayal on the person on the receiving ed is devastating. Betrayal causes irreparable damage to the person. One is left wondering why it happened to them. The person gets a deep wound, the pain of which lingers on for a long period. One’s mental health is severely affected by it and the person faces a constant moral and psychological conflict.

There are some common symptoms seen in most of them, they are:

  •  Venting of emotions
  •  Extreme sadness
  •  State of denial or shock
  •  Isolation
  •  Psychological disorders such as anxiety disorders, depression, mood disorders, Obsessive-compulsive disorder, post-traumatic stress disorder.
  •  Damaged self-image or Self-criticization
  •  Loss of trust
  •  Anger
  •  Negativity


Once a person has been betrayed it is difficult for him or her to trust people again and move on in life. However, the loved ones always try to make that person feel better by helping him or her to cope with that situation. Different coping mechanisms can be used by their near and dear ones or by the person themselves to begin the process of healing.

Some of such coping mechanisms are:

  • Catharsis: Catharsis refers to the process of releasing and thereby providing relief from strong and repressed emotions.  Venting out feelings in front of a trustworthy person is one of the best ways to heal. One feels light on doing so. Our closed ones also help us in realizing our mistakes and in modifying them. 
  • Sense of identity: After being betrayed, people often criticize themselves assuming that they are the reason for what happened to them. A person who has faced betrayal needs to be reminded of his or her worth. The person should be reminded how important he or she is and that they are loved and appreciated.
  • Being thankful: One should think of and list things he/she is thankful for. Rather than crying over what went wrong one should focus on what is still there. Counting the blessings provides joy to the person and makes him/her happy. Inculcation of the value of gratitude in our life is very important for positive mental health. It also helps in coming out of the shock or bearing the pain.
  • Pen it down: Writing down your feelings always helps. In the case of betrayal, one can write a letter to the person about the reason for doing so or even a diary entry about his/her feelings.  
  • Focus on the benefits or the positives: Often in life, what appears as a loss to us turns out as an asset in the end. It depends upon us whether we look at the brighter side or continue focusing on the loss. Focusing on the brighter side always helps in coping with the situation. We also learn an unforgettable lesson that goes with us throughout our lives.
  • Do what you love: Distracting oneself from the pain-causing situations or things related to it can contribute to the lessening of suffering. We should treat ourselves for a while and do things we love like eating a favorite food, visiting favorite places and also spending time with favorite people.
  • Visiting a counselor: In intense situations, where one doesn’t feel ready to deal with the damage all by himself/herself, one can see a counselor. Counselors help in coming out of situations in a gradual manner using proper therapies and required techniques. They are experts in this field and always succeed.

Change is the law of nature and we humans also learn to deal with these changes slowly and gradually. Every mistake acts as a lesson and guides a person to make better choices further in life.  No matter how strong the grief is, life goes on.

Find a BUDDY to share all your problems with (even anonymously, if you want) on the FeelJoy Mobile App available for all Android users.


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