“Instead of worrying about what you cannot control, shift your energy to what you can create.”
― Roy T. Bennett, The Light in the Heart.
When life gives you lemons, what do you do? You add the lemon zest in the cake to make a perfect dessert!
One pleasant morning everything seems fine, but then something happens. Situations do not work themselves out to your satisfaction. You think that the day could not get any worse, but then it does.
Bad things happen. It is human tendency to accept bad situations as fate or karma. But by perpetually dwelling upon these situations, we make them last forever. We torture ourselves through this fixation and our mental health deteriorates. In this process of fixation, regression, and aggression, we start blaming ‘external’ factors like fate, luck, or people, factors that are beyond our control. This helplessness only increases our agony. Strong people endure life’s fiascoes through fighting back, and not sulking. Just as stars cannot shine without darkness, or flowers cannot grow without rain, there is no success without setbacks. Every challenge brings a learning experience with it. We need to learn how to adapt and adjust to a situation. It will help us in the long run and will enable us to overcome any hurdle that comes our way. The sooner we act on a situation, the faster we will be able to recuperate and sustain.
Easier said than done? Moving on is hard, but not impossible.
How do we solve this?
Denial will make things worse. Constant repression will only highlight the instance and keep the memory of the bad situation fresh. Instead, confront the problem and find ways to solve it. You cannot change the past, neither can you undo your mistakes. You hold the power to change the future, however, by acting effectively in the present (in the moment). The sooner you accept, the faster you can act on your problems.
When things do not go the way they SHOULD have, we get agitated. Learn to accept. It is what it is. Things will not always be in your favour but you can make them better by acting effectively and positively on them.
Be grateful for all you have, instead of complaining about what you don’t. Start your day by spending 5 minutes every morning saying things you are grateful for; similarly end your day by spending 5 minutes, reading positive affirmations. Practice gratitude.
Instead of playing the blame game and being discouraged or demotivated by your mistakes, use them to expand your knowledge. Change your perspective; view them as signals rather than blockages. When faced with undesired situations, instead of fixating on it ask yourself this question, “What did I GAIN from it?”, “What did I LEARN from it?”
Having a positive approach can make any situation seem less stressful. It will create an optimistic aura around the person by providing hope.
You will be ready to face new challenges and you will be more careful.
Always remember, it may be a bad day, or a sad week, or a tough month, but not a miserable life.
- Will it matter a year from now?
Sometimes we react to things in the heat of the moment. The scar is still fresh, and therefore, painful. Will any of this guilt, shame, or anger matter in the long run? Will it affect you the same way it does now? Losing your job, going through break ups, or failing a test can take a toll on your mental health. Yes, these are tough situations and they drain you emotionally and mentally. However, these experiences can bring a new awakening. They can help you in the process of rediscovering yourself. Find the positive aspects.
- Be flexible
If plan A fails, you have two options, 1) sit and blame fate, OR 2) Plan B.
Losing a job does not mean you have lost the skill too. Get back on your feet and find something you would like to do. Be flexible to new ideas and plans. Start afresh, start anew.
Mistakes and situations do not define the person you are.
We may feel bad or guilty about certain things. But we need to realize that we cannot hang on these feelings forever and have to move past them. Channelize these emotions in a positive way. Get creative.
Admire your strengths; it is not going to be an easy path. Find hope, and work towards achieving your goal. Work harder and smarter, use your experience to assess the situation. You are stronger, smarter, and better prepared than you were before.
- Keep fighting
Life is not easy and you face a new challenge every day. Be a warrior and not a worrier. The world will never give up on you; do not give up on yourself. Situations can only be as complicated as you allow them to be.
If you think you cannot handle things by yourself, seek help. Talk to your family or friends. Vent it out; keeping things bottled up will result in a greater outburst. Just being in the company of your loved ones will boost your confidence and strength.
Look at your progress, use it as a motivator, and keep striving. Be patient with yourself and with others. Things will work out. It is okay to make mistakes. We all make mistakes, and that is what makes us human. No one is perfect. No matter how hard or bad a situation is, we can always flip things 180 and turn it into a good one.
Regardless of how much trouble you are confronting, or how much struggle you are in right now, tough situations do not last. Do what makes you happy. Time wasted can never be regained. You have a choice to see the same situation from different perspectives; positive or negative. Lift yourself up again. Find hope, grab it, and never leave it. There is a reason and purpose behind whatever you are experiencing and why. You are not the only one to face hardships in life.
History speaks volumes when we talk about people overcoming their bad times. Had it not been for our resilient ancestors, we wouldn’t have seen the light of the day. You may feel powerless right now but you can take over the world if you want to. Repeat these lines, “I can do this”, “I can overcome any and every obstacle”, “I am a strong person”.
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