Relations are complex and dynamic. It is difficult to identify and understand the complexity of the people around us. We have different kinds of relationships in our life be it family, friends, spouse, colleagues and so on. One of the greatest challenges of life is to identify the red flags while dealing with toxic people. They are the kind of people with whom you feel drained, unsupported, and they often have the tendency to bring you down. They tend to be passive-aggressive, rude, unfair, and their negativity brings negativity in your life also. Whether you’re dealing with a toxic workplace, toxic friendships, toxic family member, or even a toxic romantic relationship, you need to identify the red flags by knowing about what are some of the common traits of toxic people and reevaluate your relationship with them.
There are some common traits of toxic people which help you to identify them. These traits are –
- Toxic people are manipulative – They get people to do what they want them to do. It is all about them. They manipulate and use you for their own benefits to achieve their goals and motives. They don’t focus on what you want or what your goals are. It is all about them. They use tactics and tricks to manipulate you.
- They are judgemental and critical – They will criticize you about who you are, what you have done, what you have not done and everything about you or your things. They always put you down and never hesitate to lie.
- They don’t take responsibility for their actions, emotions and thoughts and never apologize – They take no responsibility for the things they do and try to project their feelings onto you. They don’t see any reason to apologize as they think that everything around them is someone else’s fault. They feel that they have not done anything wrong. They try to play the card of being a victim to gain sympathy and attention.
- They make you prove yourself and defend yourself to them – They want you to choose over something you want and something they want you to want. It leads to you making your life decisions by making their choices your own choice to prove yourself to them. It can include choosing your career paths, cutting off a meaningful relationship and so on. They are never interested to hear about your point of view or wishes. They use the tactics of being vague and arbitrary, as well as diverting the focus of the discussion to how you’re discussing an issue—your tone, your words, etc. They focus on problems, not solutions.
- You feel drained or bad after seeing them – They are the kind of people who are not supportive, caring or interested in you or what you want. They are never the same person or are inconsistent because they change their behaviour, attitude or beliefs based on what they want to accomplish or show. All these things about their behavioural, social and cognitive manipulation towards you makes you feel drained and bad after seeing them.
These are some of the common traits of toxic people and how these toxic people make you feel about yourself around them or in your own life. If you feel bad about yourself as a result of a relationship with another person, it’s time to sit down and assess the issue. They may be unlikely to change, but you can. List the pros and cons of the relationship, identify the red flags and make decisions to set boundaries, limit your time with them or end the relationship with them. You are important and you cannot give anybody else the right to make decisions about you, put you down, make you question yourself, manipulate you and make you feel that you’re not worthy or important. It is important to identify these toxic people in your life to make the appropriate decision in your life.
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