Make Yourself A Priority In Your Life

Artwork Dreamer by Palmer Hayden

If you think about yourself, what are you? How do you define yourself? Someone might say, I am a student or an engineer or an artist or maybe someone might say that I am a mother of two. But I did not ask you what you are in terms of your profession or a particular relationship or the role in your life. My question is what are you? What makes you, YOU? What is your essence and what do you think about yourself? Take some time to think about it, if I took all your problems, relationships, goals and aspirations away, what remains?

What remains is a person, a person with a body, emotions, hunger and curiosity. More than a version of someone else or a role you play, much more than that, you are simply you under all those layers. This is very essential to understand. In this writeup, I want you to understand what are any five things that are very important for you and are those five things your desire or are you trying to fulfill someone else’s needs or demands. 

There is so much talk on social media and everywhere else where we talk about being able to prioritize yourself, self-love, putting yourself above others but what does all that mean? Do you have one of those days when you find it hard to do anything, get up out of bed or just do anything at all that you wish to? The humanistic philosophy in psychology talks about taking responsibility for your own actions and trying to accept and change your present. Let’s again go back to those days when you find it hard to do the most basic things for yourself.

Is it because you are unable to meet up to the expectations of your father, or your work is not going well, or because your relationship with your partner is failing tremendously or because you are just worried about what will happen in the exam? Do you notice something here? In all of these things that are pulling you down and making you doubt yourself, there is one common thing, you are maybe letting your father down because you are playing the role of a daughter or a son, you are an employee at work, you are a girlfriend or a boyfriend in a relationship and you are a student giving an exam. In all these places, you feel exhausted and low, because you are not being able to be yourself and the burden of all of this is so heavy that you find it hard to be yourself in other scenarios of life. I will talk about myself now, I am a person who loves to be with friends, listen to music and sing along when I bathe, run with my dog when I take him for a walk, cook for my friends and sister and it makes me happy.

In all these places, I am doing my thing my way and I am utterly happy and satisfied but sometimes life gets me, my work worries me, responsibilities take over and scare me, and I find it hard too, to have that ‘me’ time. But I don’t wish to deprive myself of it and neither should you. Think about the things that make you happy, the things that make you, you and do them, do something, anything that makes you happy on days when you find it hard to get out of bed. Forget about work or roles or responsibilities for a while and just steal away some moments to be silly and spontaneous again. Hydrate yourself and just try to not let things consume you. Do not let anything take away from you what makes you unique. That is much more important than anything that you can do with your life. 

The six aspects for you to take care of when you are learning to find more time for yourself and learning to put yourself ahead of others are: –

  1. Your body, your temple: are you hydrated on those days when you have no strength to do anything? Are you paying attention to what your body is asking of you? Are you sleeping enough? Are you getting your vitamins and minerals? The very first step is to listen to what your body is asking for. Only then can you cater to other demands. So, on days when you can’t do anything, ask your body what it wants.
  2. Revisit the happy times down the memory lane: try to remember the time when you were really happy, what was different then? I can bet that the moments in your life when you were happy, you were yourself. Observe yourself in those memories and see how you can again try to be that way.
  3. Be grateful: are you in touch with the spiritual part in you? Have you ever tried to explore that aspect of yourself? If not, try to start somewhere. Like they say, there is a whole universe in you waiting to be explored, why not dive within and turn the pages to understand the past in a better way and also write more beautiful things further? Learn to be grateful for what you have and learn to be a giver as well as a receiver in this world. Learn how to be balanced and how to be an observer. Learn to not let others consume you and affect you in ways that affect your own self.
  4. Remember to rest: you are a person and not a machine, if your work or your relationships are taking away too much from you and draining you entirely, you deserve a break. You deserve rest and fair time to repair the damages. Ask for it and adhere to your mind and body’s need for rest.
  5. Remember to laugh: be silly at times, if you are not laughing enough in life, there is something that is going wrong. If you have been watching one too many intense shows and movies, I really recommend you to switch to watching some utterly silly and spontaneous sitcom. You deserve a laugh and some humor in life. Don’t miss out on it.
  6. The company matters: the people you spend time with matter, the people you surround yourself with play a crucial role in life. Are your friends or your parents or even your partner having a good and positive impact on you? Is it draining you? Ask yourself these questions. If there is a negativity in these aspects, it is high time you address this and either try to mend those bends or try to step away from it. It is important that the people you associate yourself with are having a positive impact on your life and not pulling you down. There is nothing wrong in setting healthy boundaries and separating if needed.

I end this with a question again, what are the five things that you love to do? I am not asking the things that you do for others but the things that you do for yourself. Think about it and find more time to do them. 

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Urvashi is a post graduate in clinical psychology and wishes to get closer to her goal of healing others and herself on the way. “She knows there’s no success like failure and that failure’s no success at all.” Bob Dylan
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