Had this ever happened to you that you applied for multiple jobs or programmes but you were rejected by all? Or you suddenly start just losing even though you are a good player? Or after constantly flunking for months, you decide you are not good enough?
The worst problem in such a situation is that we are not able to identify the reason of why we are losing so we just accept that we are the loser and start believing that life is just painful. This kind of mindset ensures our devastation. But the actual reasons are very different.
Effects Losing Has On the Brain
When we lose, even for the first time, our concentration and emotions are affected. In addition to this, anxiety, stress and depression starts to induce in our brain. They intensify our defeat in our own mind and start affecting the brain cells. The result of this is an automatic sensory network is formed in the brain that makes problem-solving more difficult. Also, our emotions are altered in such a way that feelings of self-doubt and personal failure prevail.
All this influence our other performances and a vicious circle is formed that keeps adding the burden of losing on our shoulders.
And when the stress and anxiety are too much, we start contemplating suicide thinking that in this life, we will always remain losers.
What is the right attitude towards losing?
There is a saying that “what doesn’t kill you only makes you stronger” and there is a reason behind this saying too. After a defeat, rather than viewing ourselves as the loser, we need to view defeat as just an independent situation. There might be a reason behind why we lost but our defeat is limited just to that aspect.
You, as a person are not a failure!
We lose to learn, not to take it on our heart because such situations are universal and will come at every point in our life. The same is for a bad phase, it comes to teach us something and there is a point when anything good seems impossible but after passing that phase, there is always a good outcome that we never expected.
Therefore, rather than just fixing your mind on the failure, learn what your mistake was and let the failure go. The more your mind is affixed on the loss, the more unnecessary stress you take.
And don’t give up. Just because it did not happen this time does not mean it is not meant for you. Maybe you need to learn more before the ultimate win. In fact, set up a greater goal because research reveals that setting up challenging goals helps you to get over the frivolous defeat.
Lastly, celebrate even smaller victories rather than neglecting them and focusing on the loss, a thing we often do. These small victories add positivity to your thoughts thus helps you to recover. Therefore, even if you win a snooker game, pay attention to the fact that you are still better than someone in it.
Why is it important to lose?
When we are winning, we never pay attention to our weak points and start taking everything casually but when we lose, we are able to see what our mistakes have been. Yes, there is grief when you fail, but in a long term, it makes you stronger in life. You must have heard some people become “shatter resistant”, and this is how they become tough.
In entrepreneurship, failure is considered as a stepping stone and to be successful, it is important to be ready even for failure, but not to forget what is worth fighting for, again and again. Most of the successful players and businessmen learn from their mistake, prepare better and then try again.
Walt Disney was fired from a job, Steven Spielberg was rejected by the university and J.K Rowling was turned down by many publishers but these failures never stopped them, none of them ever quit and look where they are now.
Therefore, never forget that defeat always has a purpose, it is not to break you but to make you a better person- stronger, tougher and wiser than your previous self.