When we talk about family, we link love, compassion and care. When someone plans to have a family, the major emotion involved is love but nobody knows how the situations in the future will be and at times one is stuck between a conflict of choices or adjustments with family members. From family members who disrespect us, don’t consider us to the ones who don’t interact with us properly; one needs to follow some basic strategies to deal with them.
- Wait for the correct time:
In order to make them understand, one need not put up an argument or fight with family members as it will further lead to major conflicts. The right way to do it is to wait for the right time to speak up. Observe how they like to be engaged and once you get to a point where you have the agreement to discuss your problems, do it. It is important to wait for the right time because, decisions taken when either of the parties are already exhausted, to big confrontations in a non-appropriate environment can disturb the relations even more.
2. Don’t implement an “I can fix you” attitude:
Families are about bonding and listening to one another, mutual understanding and not manipulation. If you’re thinking of fixing them in your way, they might be thinking the same and situation here will become debatable. Now you might think that if it’s the same from both sides why should you take the first step and not them; this can happen. It is important to remember that a person who takes the first step forward to make things right, is mostly in a better position to negotiate and you eventually will end up in a happier place. For them to listen to you, wait for a sign that they are ready to hear you. If you can urge any situation in which you can both connect, try doing it and once you get a connection stay calm and express yourself.
3. The right expression:
Make it a point not to force your point onto them, instead tell them how they are important to you and why do you want this understanding with them. Convey that you are a family and you have to work it out together. Don’t let arguments come as a hurdle in your way; feel the responsibility of staying calm and compassionate and if something triggers an argument, change the topic and wait for the next chance.
4. Keeping in mind that it is not about winning:
If you yourself want to win over them and control them in your own way, then you will be further creating a mess. Try not to feel this way, and feel the positive bond you share with them. At that time, try to remind yourself that they are important and are a part of your life. Family works on the principle of understanding and not negotiating hence, it is important not to make a deal about wanting an absolute win but rather expressing your true feelings.
5. Listen like you’re meeting them for the first time:
Sometimes, in relationships, when we tend to focus more on ourselves and don’t listen to the other person it is called selective listening. When it comes to family, we at times assume the answer the other person is going to present. When we don’t listen to the other person, we are in a way communicating that they are not that important to us or we are better than them. Communication is the technique that every relation has to follow and it goes both ways- speaking as well as listening.
6. Switch positions:
By putting yourself in their position, you might get a perspective of why conflicts are not resolving. It may provide you the solution or can enlighten you if you are wrong at any point. People are not born manipulative or non-understanding; it’s the experiences they have had that shape their personality in a certain way.
7. You can get therapeutic help:
Professional counselors or relationship expert psychologists are trained on these subject matters and, can help you to realize what you may not be realizing in your relationship. They can provide clarity that one alone cannot figure out. They listen to you without judgment and provide you the best way out.
8. If everything fails, just accept:
Acceptance can be done in two-ways, one is that, you realize that losing an argument is better than losing a person and by adjusting, you do not let that person go. The second is that, you realize that even if you adjust with it, it’ll feel like a burden your whole life that you didn’t choose well for yourself. In this case, your well-being comes first. Consider your importance after realizing everything and take a step for yourself.
So in the end, no one’s life is devoid of issues. As each person has their own desires, experiences, expectations and way of living, it is totally normal to face arguments and conflicts with your family members. All we need to do is to understand them, communicate better and work things out in the best way that will make no harm to us or the other person.
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