“Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try Again. Fail again. Fail better.”–Samuel Beckett
There is no one out there who hasn’t experienced failure in their life. We sometimes feel that our problems are the biggest and that we are the most deprived people but, just because we are unaware of the circumstances others are living in, it is not a wise assumption to make. Failures are not just limited to failure in terms of not being able to achieve a certain standard but also when we aren’t able to attain the intrinsic goals we set for ourselves. Our perception about our failure guides our mental processes and how we act beyond that time. Taking too much load or overburdening ourselves unnecessarily leads to deterioration of our mental health and well-being. We have often been told failures are the stepping stones towards success and they keep on alternating in your life with the wins you inherit but unless you believe in this yourself, others telling you will not have much of an impact.
Handling one’s emotions pertaining to losses in your life is definitely not an easy task but mastering the art of it is what makes you a better person, not for others but, for your own self. Positivity and positive mental health are way more important than some wins you could not achieve. Handling your emotions and not giving up are the two major steps in overcoming your failures and achieving what you desire or even more.
HOW TO HANDLE YOUR EMOTIONS EFFECTIVELY?
Emotions can be tricky. Mood swings, low feels, inability to manage anger, frustration, lashing out unnecessarily at people etc. are common when you do not get what you desired. Think about all the times you might have gone through this. Did you feel this way? Did you shout at someone without any reason and later realized that it was uncalled for? It is not like you do not feel the wave of guilt after that but what can you do? It happens inevitably. This is why managing emotions and dealing with emotional turmoil becomes so vital.
NOT GIVING UP IS OF UTMOST IMPORTANCE
Take a very basic example. A man thinks about starting his own firm. He takes entrepreneurship lessons, studies previously successful business plans, puts in a lot of work in planning out how to execute his venture and what not and the plan seems to be fool proof in all ways but somehow, something goes wrong and that entire company fails and all the investments render useless. Imagine the kind of mental trauma that person has gone through. Now the question is, should he entirely give up on his dream because he failed once or alter certain paradigms and come back into the arena with full force? We know you think it is ideal to agree with the latter, but why it is so is what we will attempt to unfold here.
Think about it from different perspectives of different things that might help someone cope with their failures and embrace them as an integral part of their journey.
HOW TO DEAL WITH AND OVERCOME FAILURES IN A HEALTHY WAY?
- Embrace your mistakes – look at the bigger picture
Accepting what went wrong can be hard sometimes but it is the first step towards moving on just like you can only move on from a break up after you have accepted the fact that the person is out of your life. Acceptance is the first step towards embracing the better things in life. Once you know what mistakes you made that led to your failure, you can devise ways to overcome it.
- What to do if your failure was caused by someone else’s mistake?
It is easy to say not to blame others but sometimes it actually is not your fault. What then? Well it is your dream you are striving to accomplish and for your own self, remember that. Fixing what went wrong will obviously be your job because when you undertook the responsibility, you decided to give it your 100% no matter what so why crib now? Move past the petty hurdles, look at the bigger picture and you will surely get through it.
- Motivate yourself – recall your previous accomplishments
Intrinsic motivation can make you walk miles and cross all kinds of hurdles you encounter. People often fail to realize the power of self-motivation and self-esteem. Encourage yourself to get up because the game is not yet over and you have tons of things to acquire in life. One of the ways to motivate yourself is also recalling your past accomplishments– be it some competition you won or some sport you are good at or some skill you have that people appreciate – absolutely anything. Remember the feeling of success and achievement, no matter how many efforts or failures it takes. This is what will make you believe in yourself and deal with the current feeling of failure.
- Take motivation from the world – learn from the tales of the legends
Self-motivation is one side of the story. Sometimes you fail to provide it to yourself because maybe you are too low to or something else. In such a case, look outside for motivation. Find people who came from nothing and accomplished so much , read stories of famous people who had to undergo so much to get where they are now and believe that IF THEY CAN, YOU CAN TOO! The key lies in believing.
- Do not let your failure override your abilities – manage your stress
You are your own strength. No one or nothing can take your knowledge, your abilities or your talent away from you. If you lose faith in yourself, you lose everything. Low self-esteem leads to stress, stress leads to deterioration of mental health and thus your well-being goes down. There are very basic things to do in order to manage stress including meditation, relaxation techniques, exercise etc. Keeping your mind guilt free and stress ridden in a vital chore of the day. It helps you overcome the feeling of failure and focus keenly on your goals.
- Positive thoughts are the key
We have often heard how optimistic approach towards life is very important to maintain a healthy mind. If you have a positive outlook towards your life and circumstances, which seems tough to accomplish but if done, all hurdles seem too small. I know it is hard to maintain positivity in such times but what is the harm in trying? Keep it in your mind that no matter what, you’d not lose hope or kill your drive to succeed.
- Surround yourself with positive people
People who are calm, content and, positive in their outlook towards life are the kind of people you must surround yourself with. Once you get used to the idea of optimism and how it relaxes you and your mind and creates an aura of good vibes around you, things will automatically fall in line (believe that it surely will).
- Take your time
Nobody, absolutely nobody can get over their failures in a snap. Everyone takes time, more or less, but they do. Therefore if you feel like you want to calm yourself down and take the heat off, DO THAT. We are not suggesting that you keep on dwelling on your problems but to assess them, accept them, learn from them and eventually let them go.
- Therapy is always a solution
If the failure you faced is really taking a toll on you and is disrupting your daily routine as well as your mental health, you can always consult a professional. Therapy is a very effective as well as splendid way to deal with and thing you are going through. Talking and venting it out help tonnes. Discussion on how you feel and why you feel so takes half of your stress away. If you feel someone else around is going through something similar, tell them how they can easily fix it. One failure or even 10 or 40 or 80 do not define who you are and what your potential is rather everytime they teach you something new, good or bad, but they do. Use those lessons to go ahead in life and not stay stagnant. Everything is attainable.
These are a few things we believe can help you, once you decide to not dwell upon failures and get over them only to achieve even bigger things. Think of all the effort you put in to get what you want. During the journey, you will surely face some turbulence and turmoil but once you overcome that, the feeling of success is unfathomable. Keep this in mind and never look back at what you did or lost, look ahead, towards what you will attain and want to acquire.
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