How To Help Your Child Become Self-Confident

Confidence is a feeling of trust; trust in oneself, their abilities and skills without doubt and discouragement. Being confident helps one perform better. Confidence also helps in developing intrapersonal relations. Low self-confidence may hinder and sabotage relations as well as goals a person has set for him/her.

Confidence is a process. It develops as a habit.  In this world full of competition, confidence is seen as the key to a successful life.

It originates from a feeling of competence. A child needs a positive and sensible outlook of her/his capacities. This emerges out of accomplishments, no matter how extraordinary or little. It is a parent’s job to support and help their child. Your empowering words can help build up this certainty, particularly when you allude to your kid’s particular endeavours or capacities. With good parenting styles, healthy living and positive thinking confidence can be built.


  • Appreciate the effort.

Childhood is a crucial time. Mental capabilities are expanding and the child is forming new perceptions about the world. It acts as a base, on which adulthood forms. Praise your child it is important to give positive feedback, however, do not go overboard with your praises.

If a child fails at doing a task, appreciate the effort, be practical in your recognition. Children stop performing due to the fear of failure. Eradicate this fear and reassure your child that it is okay to make mistakes. Do not praise your child for something he/she is supposed to do. She/he will get accustomed to your praises and may have a hard time differentiating whether his/her efforts are worth the hype or not. A child may also start ignoring your appreciation.

Help your child set attainable goals, to exterminate the fear of failure. Accomplishing goals will boost the child’s confidence and his/her competency level.

Teach your child what you know, however; do not impose your teachings. For example, teach your child how to tie shoelaces, and then let him/her try.

  • Give your child space and freedom to grow.

Guide them but do not force them. Provide them with opportunities to display their talent. Being too strict and authoritative can decrease a child’s confidence and the child may become dependent. On the other hand, providing too much space can overwhelm a child. Let them figure out solutions to their problems but provide help and support when necessary. Set rules and boundaries but also grant them autonomy.

If your child feels morally low, uplift his/her spirit and encourage him/her to look at the bright side. Think about improving the situation. Let your child solve the problem. Teach resilience, no one succeeds all the time; there will be misfortunes and disappointments. Utilize these obstacles as learning encounters instead of dwelling on the occasions as disappointments or disillusionments.

  • Acknowledge your child’s problem

Do not discard them by asking, “You shouldn’t feel this way”, instead say, “It’s okay to feel this way, we’ll work on it”. The child will feel comfortable in sharing his/her feelings. Never discourage them, even if they are failing at a task. The child may develop a fear of punishment or anger and may refuse to perform a task. Treat mistakes as an opportunity to learn and grow.

  • Find new interests

Everyone is good at something. As a parent, try to support your child’s interest. Nurture them and feel proud of their expertise. It will be a major boost in confidence if your child finds something he/she is good at and with the support of the parents, she/he can excel in that field.

  • Interpersonal relations

As children grow older, their friend group also changes. Their friend’s action starts affecting them. They may lose their identity to fit in the social norm or the teenage world. Teach your child courage, hope, confidence to handle a relationship and help her/him become independent.

  • Teach them positive self-talk

Children can engage in both positive and negative self-talk. Teach your children positive affirmations. “I got this”, “I can solve this problem.” A child’s first interaction with the world is through and with their parents. They should know that you love them unconditionally. By doing this they create, a safe picture of the world around them, and it boosts their confidence.

  • Self-confidence

A child’s first role model is the parent figure. Focus on building your confidence; be confident, the child will imitate your behaviour. Resist comparing them to others. Be a good role model.

Confidence is essentially imperative to a child’s future wellbeing. Confident kids are better prepared to manage peer-pressure, responsibilities, dissatisfactions, challenges, and both positive and negative feelings.

Provide a safe, loving and competent environment. The child will grow into a confident and independent adult. Confidence is an on-going process; it will not become a habit overnight. Be patient and supportive. 

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