How to separate yourself from the toxic people around you?

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We live in a world which has a huge variety of people with different thoughts, ideas, mindsets and cultural backgrounds. Even being from the same family, same peer group or with the same cultural backgrounds, people have issues in their relationships. Why ? Because everyone has different personalities and perspectives which cannot be the same.

Yes, there are situations where one agrees with other’s thoughts, but ultimately at the end of the day they think what they want to think. No , there are some people who know how to deal with everyone and their mindsets in a way which doesn’t harm any of their feelings but present their own view, and then there are those who get suppressed by listening to what others say and think about them. These people get so pressurised that they forget who they actually are and fill their life with toxicity of others. 

Who are toxic people ? 

This group of people are those who cannot see you grow. They try to hinder your progress in any way possible. They will try to sabotage your possibility of self improvement. They can be your friends , your colleagues or even your family members. Consciously or unconsciously, they try to threaten your growth and happiness. Being afraid of getting their shortcomings exposed , they become an obstacle in your improvement.

They are frightened by the idea to change and hence, spread their toxicity all over. This type of toxic people make us feel frustrated, manipulated and angry which in turn distracts us from our goals and targets. It is important to identify who are toxic people around you.

Here are some signs that toxic people might exhibit in daily life:

  1. They try to control our lives. 
  2. They disrespect our boundaries and try to violate them. 
  3. They will take full advantage of you and will give nothing in return.
  4. They will always give justification for their wrong doings and will never admit their mistake.
  5. Dishonesty is one of their biggest traits.
  6. They picture themselves as world’s victims by giving excuses and rationalising.
  7. Toxic people don’t take responsibility for their actions and define them as “just the way things are”.

Toxic people cannot totally sabotage our possibilities and attempts to self improvement but, yes, it happens. They will somehow manage to slow down your progress. The moment when you start feeling toxicity in your life, take it as a ringing alarm warning you to detach yourself from toxic people. There can be  times when people having good relations with you are bringing in toxicity. Hard to accept and recognize, but you have to separate yourself from them for your own benefit and growth. They bring in so much negativity that we start doubting our own worth and feel ashamed of our own progress. We start feeling sad and uncomfortable. Their negativity influence us so much that we start second guessing our decision. 

Toxicity is contagious and insidious and that is why it is dangerous for a human being to be surrounded with. Therefore it is necessary to remove these kind of people from our lives.

Here are some ways to remove toxic people from your life:

  • Identify the time when life gives you warning against the toxic people.
  • Take your time,  as it can be a process to remove them. It is not always easy to get rid of them.
  • Do not give explanation of your actions. You don’t owe them your reasons for doing things.
  • Try talking to them at public places so as to avoid their violent and belligerent behavior.
  • Block them from every social platform. Don’t leave any window open for them to bully or disturb you.
  • Firmly restate your boundaries and avoid getting into arguments. The more you will get into arguments, the happier they will be because that is what they want.
  • Write your feeling as it will help you clarify your thoughts and will help you give a reminder why you made the decision to cut out with someone.

We cannot fix a toxic person but, yes, we can restrain ourselves from getting involved with toxic people. It is impossible to control other people’s behaviour, it is better you start maintaining a difference with them. If we start doing so we can set an example for people around us to do the same and live their lives happily. 

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