Relationships are a beautiful thing. People being together to share their highs and lows, sharing their happiness and their sadness with each other, depending on each other, supporting each other and loving each other. But sometimes, some might feel that their relationship is not perfect or ideal.
They want to be like other couples who seem perfect or as per the current trend, who are #couplegoals. What many of us tend to forget is that there are no ideal relationships. People aren’t perfect, so how can the relationships involving the people be perfect? Every relationship has some flaws or the other, some issues or the other. The problem arises when these flawed relationships turn toxic.
How to identify on your own whether you are in toxic relationship or not ?
A toxic relationship is when it starts to trouble the people involved in that relationship and it becomes unfavorable for them. Dating someone is never stress free or as they say, a bed of roses. Problems are always there.
But when one person in the relationship or both the people start to feel uncomfortable, the relationship turns unhealthy. It turns toxic when the extent of being uncomfortable reaches at its height and cannot be tolerated any further.
Relationships can turn toxic due to several reasons.
In a toxic relationship, a person feels unsafe because of their partner. The toxicity can be due to emotional factors and/or physical factors. Emotionally, a person needs love, support and care. While being involved in a relationship, these are the things which everyone looks for the most. But sometimes the opposite happens.
Due to various reasons, when a person doesn’t receives this love and support, they tend to be unhappy in the relationship. There is a lot of criticism and contempt in the arguments that take place in such relationships. Criticism is good when done positively, but it tends to be harmful when the criticism is always negative and is done with the intention to demean the other person. When the unhappiness escalates, it leads to toxicity.
A relationship is all about give and take. But sometimes, it’s only one person who gives and never receives anything in return. This is also a sign of being in a toxic relationship.
Another sign of identifying whether you are in toxic relationship or not is to see whether your partner is giving you the emotional support and encouragement that is needed. No one is expected to spend the whole of 24 hours of a day with their partner. Everyone needs their own personal space and time alone as well. But, if the person starts to ignore their partner and not pay attention to their needs, that’s when the toxicity in the relationship seeps in.
A relationship can turn toxic due to physical abuse as well. When a partner in a relationship is abused physically, the relationship takes an unhealthy turn. Physical violence and abuse done against any person is a severe crime and such actions done against their own partner in a relationship is the one which hurts the person most. In a toxic relationship, violence and abuse hurts the person physically as well as emotionally. When the person you trust to love you and care for you hurts you, the relationship is left meaningless.
Not only romantic relationships, but friendships can also turn toxic.
In a friendship, if the friends are not in a balanced relationship, it can lead to toxicity. In a toxic friendship, one friend usually struggles to get the attention and the time of the other friend. The friendship is oriented towards one person more, with their needs being given more attention and importance than that of the other friend’s.
Has it ever happened that you call up your friend to vent out something but didn’t get the chance to do so? The friend speaks out whatever they want to say, but when its your turn, they have some work or are busy? Or they are overly critical of everything you do and seem to believe that you don’t ever do anything right? These are all signs of being in a toxic friendship.
It is very difficult to accept that you are in a toxic relationship, whether a romantic one or a friendship.
Being surrounded by toxicity can lead to high levels of stress and coping problems in life. People in such relationships tend to lead a very unhappy life and in extreme situations can show depressive tendencies. Seeking professional help and support can help the people in case of emotional toxicity.
With continuous counselling and talks with the people involved in the relationship, there are chances of things turning for the better. But in case of physical toxicity, the most important step to be taken is to report it to the authorities. Whether emotional or physical toxicity, a person needs to recognize that stepping away from the relationship at first signs of toxicity is the right thing to do.
Every relationship starts out normally, but some can turn toxic over time. After being in a toxic relationship for a long time, it becomes very difficult for the person involved to step away from that relationship and move on. After all, emotional attachments can’t be severed easily no matter hard one tries. But they still have to keep going on, keep on trying and keep on seeking help to improve their own life.
We need to understand ourselves and make others also understand that moving away from a toxic relationship isn’t being selfish. You don’t need to keep on loving someone even after suffering at the hands of the same person who hurt you. Moving and starting afresh by firstly loving your own self is the best gift that you can give to yourself.