I Don’t Love The Person I’m Married To. What Do I Do?

There comes a time in everyone’s life when one feels the requirement of a partner, of a companion, for a lifetime. Choosing a life partner is perhaps the most crucial decision in one’s life. Finding someone who brings happiness and positivity, helps us grow, holds us in times of need and above all trust us and understands us when the world fails to do so, is very important for a human being. Love and care is also one imperative part of married life. However, one question arises here is that is it possible for a human being to spend his/ her entire life if they’re married to a person they don’t love? or what should one do in such a situation? The answer to this question, like almost all other questions, can be divided into two possible outcomes, one is the positive one and the other is the negative one.

For today’s generation, where love marriage is more prevalent, it is difficult to think of a married life without love. Taking a closer look at the concept, one finds this situation to be similar to that of an arranged marriage. The biggest example of a positive outcome of such a situation is of our parents and grandparents, most of whom are into an arranged marriage. The success of their married lives is proof that there’s always a good chance of falling in love after marriage. One can always give a chance to such marriages i.e marriages where you don’t love your partner initially. This chance requires some good efforts which even our parents or elders would have put into their relations like trying to understand their perspective, trusting the other person in every way possible, finding happiness in their happiness, bringing positivity into the relationship, showering some love and affection, etc.

But, this doesn’t need to be how married life works always, there are ups and downs in every relationship. Couples also fight on trivial matters but how both of them handle each other after fights is what matters the most.  One can always try to love and seek satisfaction in whatever they have. Falling in love after marriage has its fun and adventure. Living in a loveless marriage is indeed a courageous task but time is a great healer and giving time to things always ends up making things better.   

Needless to say that the efforts have to be both sided. One-sided efforts often become the reason for broken marriages. We need affection and love for mental and emotional stability. Also, one cannot survive without support and advice in times of difficulty and need. Unequal efforts in married life doesn’t contribute to healthy relationships. There are more chances of fights, betrayal, miscommunication, unmanageable stress and even separation in worst cases. 

Above all what your inner voice says about the situation has a good hold on what will happen next. Your inner self or inner voice always attracts what is best for you and what brings you peace and satisfaction. If you genuinely want the relationship to work, your efforts will pay off. Separation in most of the cases is disheartening, one should better focus on the benefits of marriage. Keeping healthy hopes and respecting each other brings peace and fulfillment.

However, in some cases, the pain of staying is worse than the pain of leaving. In such cases, separation or divorce is perhaps the only choice couples are left with. Negative choice/decision, is the solution in that case. It can be a tough decision for both of you given the fact that the society has deeply stigmatized the concept of divorce or separation but what we need to understand is that sometimes it doesn’t work out even after you’ve tried working on every possible solution to fix it.

No amount of efforts seem to have a positive impact on saving the relationship and things eventually start spiraling downwards instead of improving which might result in having a direct negative impact on your health and your social life. In such a scenario, it is best for both the individuals to take divorce and start a new and happy life if they are not comfortable with each other. Don’t let the pressure of the society make you succumb to living a loveless life.

It is essential that one must first give the decision a proper thought before ending the relationship as this is definitely a big decision and thus, proper evaluation is required. Discuss what is best for you both and then reach to some conclusion.

Your attitude towards the situation matters a lot. The role of optimism (which is a mental attitude of believing in positive outcomes of situations or things) is increasingly being recognized these days. Inculcation of optimism in daily life provides us with numerous benefits on a whole. There is no shame in accepting that a relationship didn’t work out the way it was supposed to. You need to put your mental health above everything else.

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3 thoughts on “I Don’t Love The Person I’m Married To. What Do I Do?

  1. Marriage is all about mutual understanding. There are ups and down in every relationship but when people love each other and they don’t want to loose each other than there are less chances to break relationship.

  2. Marriage is all about mutual understanding. There are ups and down in every relationship but when people love each other and they don’t want to loose each other than there are less chances to break relationship.

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