A few days back I was at one of the KFC’s outlets, I was in the queue and while was deciding on what to order, there was a group of friends sitting on a table a little far away. In that group, there was one girl with a darker skin tone and she was all silent while everyone else was laughing and having a jolly time. Looking at her made me think – why is she not laughing , why is she so quiet?
To get the answers to these questions, I tried to listen to their conversation, and to my surprise it was not a very pleasant conversation but rather just a talk full of humiliation and insult. That girl was being “roasted” badly for her colour and she could not help but remain silent. That feeling of helplessness was all over her face and she hid that with a smile which took all the strength and courage to put on.
After this incident, many thoughts came in my mind leading to various questions –
- Why she could not speak up for herself ?
- What made her peer group talk about her like this ?
- Are they her “friends “ actually ?
Answer to all these questions are – lack of self awareness and self acceptance!
What is the meaning of self awareness and self acceptance?
Self-awareness is the capacity for introspection and the ability to recognize oneself as an individual separate from the environment and other individuals. Sometimes people confuse it with consciousness. Consciousness give an idea about one’s environment, body and lifestyle, while self awareness is recognition of that awareness. It is all about how you feel about yourself, your feelings, emotions, character, motives and desires.Being your own critic , your own decision maker, your own advisor gives a lot of strength and opportunities to live your life on your terms , without anyone’s interference and obligations to it.
In does not define unethical behaviour or anything which is not acceptable in the society. Being self aware is the primary step while self acceptance is the one that follows. Self acceptance defines awareness of one’s strengths and weaknesses. It is realistic in nature as it allows a person to accept his or her capabilities, general worth and feeling of satisfaction with own self despite of being aware of all the disabilities, deficiencies or past behavior and choices.
A person who has accepted him or herself:
- Has a positive self attitude.
- Knows and accepts every aspect of themselves including good and bad.
- Has no confusion going on in the mind.
- Is completely aware of his actions.
- Is satisfied with who they are and don’t wish to be anyone else.
Self awareness plays a big role in self acceptance. As we get to know about ourselves we are much more able to accept and improve our weaknesses and areas where we lack confidence. Accepting yourself doesn’t necessarily mean liking every aspect of yourself. We have a lot of pressure to be PERFECT. Perfection doesn’t exist. Nobody is perfect. Everyone has their own set of shortcomings leading to certain insecurities. It depends on how we deal with our insecurities without letting it affect our mental health.
Here are some few ways to deal with it :
- If you are comparing yourself with others , STOP IT . It will constantly choke your power to gain confidence and will disturb you.
- Learn that there are things which you excel and other people wish they could.
- Acceptance is not the same as approval. If you accept it, don’t think that you are approving of it.
- Accept compliments from others and trust that they are true
- Maintain and be aware of your image and the way you appear to people.
- Accept your failures too, they are a great way and source of learning.
- Think of your unique talents and abilities.
- Be completely responsible for your life.
- Realize that your potential is unlimited.
If you are willing to experience and embrace whatever you think, feel or do, even if you don’t always like it, you will begin to accept yourself and begin to change and grow into the person you want to be.
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